Cute, Funny 'About Me' Quotes and Facebook Status

I think women change their
Profile pics 5 times
More than men on Facebook.
And then they say they are
Not attention seekers. :p

 *************************************

 Fighting Styles :
1980's:
Meet me at the ground and i'll show u !!
1990's:
Dare to come at my place..
Then u'll know who i am !!
2000's:
Phone pe sher mat ban
Saamne aa to dekhta hoon !!
2012's:
Tu facebook pe mil saale...!
Teri wall pe aise comment maarunga
K account hi delete kar dega..

 *************************************

 A boy's facebook status during class:
I aM online
From class....
Comment from his teacher:
Beta test me 0 mila hai
Aa k dekhega ya tag karun..??

 *************************************

 People Will Like ur Problems 'n Comment
But No one Gonna Solve Them.
Because
Everybody Seems So Busy
In Updating Their Own Status.:-D
Facebook and life...

 Technology Impact
A Dad's Email,
Hi son, how are U
Your mom & I am fine
V miss U alot.
So please turn off your facebook &
Come downstairs 4 breakfast.

 *************************************

 Fact:
How do girls start a
Conversation with each other onfacebook?
Girl 1 : Hey cutie mutie mooh♥ :*:p
Girl 2 : Hiiieeee.. My darlzzz..
Chupie mumiee loohh.. :D :=) :p♥:*
&
How do boys start a
Conversation with each other on
Facebook ?
Boy 1 : aur chu#%ye....
Boy 2 : Haan bc.. !!Bol :P

 *************************************

 Doctor- Bacha Huwa Ye To Thik Hai,
Lekin Aisi Kya Baat Ho Gayi Thi Ki,
Tumhari Wife Ne Tum Pe Computer Fek Mara
Marij- Mai Bache Ka Naam,
Facebook Kumar Rakhne Ki Zid Pe Tha
Aur Wo Google Kumar Plus Rakhne Ki Zid Par.
HaHaHa

 *************************************

 Gunda facebook pe account banaya.
Usko yeh samajh nahi araha tha
Ki "Wall" pe kya likhe.
Bohut soch k uss ne likha
"Yahan peshab karna mana hai"

 *************************************

 Very Touchy"
Hey Prabhu!!
Un Tamam Stdnts ko xam Main
Kamyab karna...
Jinhe Sal Bhar Padhne Ka Tym Na Mila..
Un masum hatho ko himat dena.
Jinho ne unlimtd sms
Pakages ko kabhi waste nahi hone diya.
Hey Ishwar.
Un aakho ko paper me roshni dena,
Jo din rat facebook pe baith k
Kamjor hogayi hain....
Un Garib bache aur bachiyon ki madad karna..
Jo night hours me bat karte rahe
Aur padh nahi sake...:p

 *************************************

 3 Boys purposed a girl:
1ST boy: Main tumhare liye
Apni jaan de sakta h0n!
GIRL: Ye to sab kehte hain... :p
2ND boy: Main tumhare liye chad,
Tare tor k lasakta hon!
GIRL: Chor bhai purana dailouge :d
3RD boy: Main tumhain apna FACEBOOK
Password de sakta h0n...
GIRL: Aankhon main aans0n k sath,
Pagal itna chate ho tum mjhe.

 *************************************

 Facebook should change
The status question from
"What's on your mind?"
To "What's your problem today?" :p

 *************************************

 FACEBOOK humara planet hai,
Hum sab facebook wasi friends-friends hai,
Hume apna planet prano se bhi pyaraa hai,
Iski sukh samridhi, vivid jokes, aur
Posts per hume garv hai,
Hum iske, page owner banne ka sada
Preyatn karthe rehenge...
Hum apne matha-pitha, shikshako, aur
Gurujano se chup ke- humesha online
Aane ka promiss lete hain...
Facebook wasiyon ke kalyan aur
Samridhi me hi humara sukh hit hai..
!!!JAI FACEBOOK!!!

 *************************************

 MODERN DHAMKI-
Teacher:- beta tumhara test ka
Result aa gya he
Kal apne parents ko
School lekar aa rhe ho ya
FACEBOOK pe tag kar ke sab ko dikha du...???
Like & share your frnds...

 *************************************

 Blocked on Facebook: Done ?
Unfollowed on Twitter: Done ?
Erased from Cell Phone: Done ?
Deleted from the Heart: Error..!!

 *************************************

 Sad line but True-
Apne INDIA Ka Kuch Nahi HoSakta..!!
Qki.,Yahan.....
Buddhe Desh Chala Rahe Hai,...
OrJawaan Facebook....

 *************************************

 Effect of Facebook...
Teacher - Batao Parle-G par
Jo Green dot bana hota hai
Uska kya matlab hota hai?
Student - Sir iska matlab hai
Ki Parle sahab abhi Online hain.

 *************************************

 Girl: I can do anything 4 u?
Boy: Will you die for me?
Girl: Yes.
Boy: Will you delete ur Facebook account 4 me?
Girl: Go home Bro,
Ur mother might be getting worried.

 *************************************

 Why is Facebook such a hit?
Bcoz it works on the principle that,
"People are more interested in others'
Life rather than their own".

 *************************************

 A boy to girl: kab milogi aur kaha dogi?
Girl: kaha aur kya loge ?
Boy: facebook par aur physics and
Chemistry k notes.

 *************************************

 1 friend-agr muje apni gf
Facebook pr milegi to
Uske wall pr kya likunga.
2 friend-tm likna ki
"IS WALL PR PESAAB KRNA MANA HAI"

 *************************************

 Modern Style wedding
Pujari: Do u Both Agree
To Change Your
Facebook Status to MARRIED?
Couple: Yes, we do
Pujari: Vivah sammpan

 *************************************

 Police-ma'm ur husbnd had n accident,
Plz come to identify body now.
Wife- i m buzy now,
U take photo n tag me on facebook,
If its he , i will click lik

 *************************************

 Bhikhari: Daadi roti dijiye khane ke liye.!
Daadi : Abhi taiyaar nahi hai,
Baad me aana.!
Bhikhari : Ye mera cell number hai,
Taiyaar hote hi miss call de dena.!
Bhikhari rocks Daadi shocks..!
Daadi : Are number kya lena,
Thodi der ke baad jab chapati ban jaegi to
Facebook par upload kar dungi..
Now Daadi rocks bhikhari shocks..!

 *************************************

 Santa Introduces His Family :-
1.) Ye Meri Biwi GOOGLE KAUR
Ek Sawal Pucho To Das Jawab Deti Hai
2) Ye Mera Beta FACEBOOK SINGH
Ghar Ki Har Baat Poore Muhalle Tak Pahuchata Hai
3) Aur Ye Meri Beti TWITTER KAUR.
Pura Muhalla Raat Din Ise Follow Karta Hai
4) Aur Main Hu santa urf ORKUT SINGH
Ab Mujhe Koi Puchta Hi Nahi.By-LoveUsms.in

 *************************************

 facebook dialogue.
Sidhi tarah se comment
Remove kar de nahi to.
Etani baar block karunga ki
Confuse ho jayega ki
Unblock kaha se hou aur
Comment kaha se karu

 *************************************

 Best breakup :
Girl:I hate u get lost,
I Don't wanna talk to you,
This relationship is over-
Boy:what happnd??
I didn't look up with any girl,
I love only you..!
Girl:Shut up,
I don't wanna be with you,
You didn't 'Like' my status on facebook ..!
"Must share on ur gf's wall on fb"

 *************************************

 BSNL ka network
AIRTEL ka balance aur
FACEBOOK par mili ladki ka..
Kuch pata nhi kb kaha udd jaye :D

 *************************************

 Life m kuch aisa mukam hasil
Karne ki koshish kro ki
Log apka naam
FACEBOOK par nhi,
GOOGLE pe search kare.

 *************************************

 "Jo Kehti Thi Tujhe Dil
Mein Lock Kar Diya..!
Aaj Ussi Ne Facebook
Pe Block Kar Diya..!!!
Ha.Ha.Ha... :D :P ;)

 *************************************

 3 Words That Can Totally
Change Ur
Mood:
I Love You
I Hate You
&
The Best 1..
Facebook Login Error :O
Seriously Aag Lag Jaati Hai :P
Like If You Agree :!

 *************************************

 "Jo Kehti Thi Tujhe Dil
Mein Lock Kar Diya..!
Aaj Ussi Ne Facebook
Pe Block Kar Diya..!!!
Ha.Ha.Ha... :D :P ;)

 *************************************

 Height Of Nonsense:
A Girl Gv A Pendrive 2 A Boy & Said
"Isme Facebook Daal K Dena"
Boy Gave Her A Shitty Look &
Then Girl Said:
"Kya Hua 2gb Me Nai Ayega Kya?"
Ronaaa Aa Gyaaaa.

 *************************************

 Dear Singles :

February Aane Mein Zyada Tym Nahi Hai.
Mehnaaat Karo Dil Laga Ke.!!
.Warna Is Baar Bhi 14th Feb Facebook Pe Comments Aur
Posts Like Kar K Guzaarni Padegi...

 *************************************

 Classic Insult:
Once A Boy Uploaded A Photo
Holding A Dog On Facebook..
Girl Commented: "Which One Is U?"
Boy Replied: "The One Holding You..:d
Moral: Girlzz Dumb Hi Rehengi :D
Boyxxx Like Thoko ;):D

 *************************************

 Superhit Bezti.
Ek Rich Ladki Ne Signal Pr Khde Bhikari Se Kaha
Arey Maine Apko Kahi Dekha H
Bhikari Bola
Memsaab We Are Friends On Facebook.

 *************************************

 Mahanta Esme Nahi Ki,
Log Tumhe Facebook Par Dhundhe,
Mahantato Esme He Ki,
Log Tumhe Google Par Dhundhe.

 *************************************

 Boy: My Ex-Girlfriend's
Status On Facebook Says:
"Standing On The Edge Of A Bridge..."
Friend: So What Did You Comment?
Boy: Nothing, I Just POKED Her!

 *************************************

 Life Is Boring Without
(A) Cellphone
(B) Love
(C) Boy/GIRLFRNED
(D)FACEBOOK
(E) MONY
(F)NAMAE